There is a pattern to most things

Here is my day in a lump sum

Not to make anyone else feel bad or anything but is anyone worse off then me? Why do I feel like I am so bad that no one understands?
Here is my day in a lump sum Get up, lay in bed waiting for my fiancé to leave the room. Usually he will leave things wrong so I need to fix them before I get out of bed. I will get back in after I fix them. Make sure my phone on on the right side of the charger, turn off the fan, turn on the light and make the bed 4 times. The I make sure everything is in it’s place before I start brushing my teeth, if I have to go downstairs to correct anything I have to go up and down 4 times. I brush my teeth in a pattern, 3 times. If I mess up I do 3 sets of 6. And then 1 set of 3. Sometimes I can’t get it right. This can take over an hour just to get that far. I get my daughter off to school. And I’ll clean. I have counting and patterns and vacuuming can take me up to 3 hours. My phone needs to be in certain spots and all the lights in the house have to be on. If not I start over. Or I go through each room and count to 4 plug and unplug the vacuum. Turn it on and off. If I read things and I get a bad feeling I re read them 4 times. If I hit a wall I tap 3 more times. My day is filled with counting. When I shower I have patterns with soap. Getting dressed a pattern. And I have a pattern with putting on my socks. Before bed I make sure all dishes are done. Everything is where it goes. I do everything in order and then I get into bed. No animal can be on the bed. So I kick them off and my fiancé gets upset, I get out of bed, turn off all the lights in order. Then turn on and off my phone 3 times. Set my phone down. On the right side of the charger. Once it goes off I get into bed. Get out of bed and do a counting pattern to turn on my fan. Takes around 10 mins. Get back into bed, another counting pattern. Sets of 3 Get out of bed and do my fan. Get back into bed and count. And then I am done. I’m not adding all the food rituals and other things I do. There is a pattern to most things.


Discussion


Rita Book
You do alot of things just like i do. I also do my rituals 4 times. Wonder why its always 4. For some reason that is my safe number. But anyways, just wanted to let you know i totally understand what your going through.

Kristi Todd
I forgot I have to eat in 2s, 2 of everything if not I will starve instead

Rita Book
Have your numbers ever changed? I use to vacuum 3 times in a row, also would unplug and plug back in the vacuum alot. But for the last few years the number 4 is my number. Make any sense?

Kristi Todd
Yes it used to be 5 and then 8 now it’s 3 and 4

Kristi Todd
Rituals change too

Rita Book
So do mine. They always change and when they do they are always harder or take longer to do.

Kristi Todd
I used to have to use public toilets 2 times. It like reset things. If that makes sense lol

Maria Belle
You have it pretty bad, but there are worse. There’s always someone who has it harder, no matter what that thing is.
And it’s not about quantity, it’s how the person is affected by it that matters. One singke obsession/compulsion could completely overtake soneone whereas another person could function quite well with several o/c

Kristi Todd
I didn’t think of that mari. I’m not functioning good at all lol

Rita Book
I would love to get through one day with no rituals.

Kristi Todd
I suppose someone can be doing these same things and be calm and not bothered

Rita Book
I have my good days and bad days.

Kristi Todd
I had 1 day without rituals. I just decided I wasn’t going to do any. I told my fiancé and he helped me through every panic attack. I had panic attacks about everything, a crumb was left on the floor. Stupid things. I was doing okay for 2 days. And he stopped caring. He believed I was okay now. I relied on him to get me through. He saw my rituals come back and he is just fed up now

Kristi Todd
No support in my life besides this group

Cody Holm
he needs to do this witj you every day!! it cant just go away like that as we all know. Do you need someone in front of you physically? or can you get help by phone or instant messaging? If you can, I can help you and go thru the steps if you need. Would that help?

Catherine Ward
My day: I wake up, look at my phone making sure that it’s an even number on the time, if not I will set an alarm for the next minute. Play on my phone for a bit, then stretch 4 times. Up down up down. Then get out of bed. Count how many steps I take to each room if it’s odd, then I have to put my feet together than put the other foot in to the room I am walking into or out of. Then I will walk outside for 2/4 minutes depending on how cold it is. Then I will come in walk around the kitchen for 2 minutes counting every step. Then back in my room to have two bowls of cereal with two pours of milk. Then I will message my mum asking what she’s doing today, if she offers to pick me up. It has to be an even time again. If she’s late, I have to wait for another minute to get into the car. Everything is even basically. If I hug someone it’s got to be twice (so let go and hug again) tapping something (again an even amount of times) I honestly go into panic mode and cry like a baby until everything is done equally!! 🙁 xxx

Kristi Todd
I do the hugging thing and milk thing too

Kristi Todd
Tapping. If I accidentally touch someone I have to touch them 1 more time

Catherine Ward
So do I!!

Catherine Ward
I get so frustrated if I can’t.i go into a bubble and just want to escape.

Kristi Todd
It’s hard

Kristi Todd
Cory, I wouldn’t want to bother you like that. I also need to be physically held

Kristi Todd
I’m a baby apparently

Kristi Todd
And I need to hear I will be okay in words not read it

Catherine Ward
Definitely.

Kristi Todd
I can’t eat the last bite of things either lol

Catherine Ward
Oh. I also count my bites… It drives my family insane. And also I can’t have one dinner, I have to have the dinner halved on two plates. 🙁

Cody Holmes
aww, i know. i understand. well i dont mind if you need the help..im home all day too. So since im not there and cant hold you or talk to you, I can surely help from here 😉 Let me know

Kristi Todd
I have to have 2 of everything or I’ll starve

Kristi Todd
Maybe I will take you up on that Cory. So if I message you freaking out be warned lol

Cody Holmes
No worries lol..Im actually good at calming people down. I go through this too, so it comes easy 😉 Pm when you need too

Maria Belle
I wouldn’t even tell you how my days go. My OCD consumes me. It messes with my mind so bad that i am under 24hr watch. I am never left alone (unless i go to the bathroom). My therapist is on-call 24/7 and texts me once an hour to make sure i’m still ok. My kids have no social life. No activities, no sports, no friends. I can’t even let them have their friends call the house. My entire family has disowned me, my inlaws think i’m a freak. I have no friends, no acquaintances, no comunication with anyone other than my husband, my therapist and this group. And the only reason i got help was because my children’s school grew so concerned about my children that they called CPS who took control and forced me into it.
But it’s not a competition. It’s not about who has it worst. It doesn’t work that way.

Kristi Todd
I know it isn’t. I just worry no one can feel my pain

Maria Belle
We all feel that pain.

Allyson Cerimele
My heart hurts for you. It sounds so exhausting 🙁 I don’t have many rituals so I can’t really relate…just know we are with you!! 💜

Kim Chase
I’m curious how old you are? I had rituals when I was a work from home mom years ago when I was in my 20’s& early 30’s. A counselor once told me in an OCD session that one day I would become too tired to do all the things I did. I didn’t believe her, but at 45 realize that has happened. I’m now post divorced (as a result of OCD) and work out of the house full time. I still have my exhausting routines, but it’s true that getting older has helped because I simply don’t have the energy. Would love to talk more……..

Gerald Hughes
Kristi, What is your favorite singer and your favorite song. The moment your realize you’re awake, I want you to imagine that you are your favorite singer, singing your favorite song. The only requirement be that it is an upbeat song like something from a good movie. You can do with with or without accompaniment. Have fun and go for it.

Kristi Todd
I’ll be 27 in 14 days

Kristi Todd
I already am exhausted

Susan Currie
As I read through that, my first thought, honestly, was, how do you not drive yourself nuts with having to do all of that! Or wear yourself out? I just couldn’t do all of that all of the time! It’d make me crazy trying to keep it all straight all the time. And it’d wear me out, too. I have my counting things rituals, too, but not anywhere or that extent. I definitely do count the number of times I do a LOT of things, but it’s things I normally do, anyway. I just do those things a certain number of times. And I don’t feel compelled to do them over and over again that many times, or feel compelled to repeat them if I haven’t gotten it “right”. So there are degrees of how much it affects one. I know dealing with it does not take up my time and thoughts and life to the extent that it does so many others. I can definitely see how much it’s changed for me over the years. And I can accept that it will probably never completely go away, and live with that, too. As much as I really love to encourage the people in this group, you help me to see how much different it is for me than it is for so many if you, and to be truly, humbly thankful to the One who has changed me so much. And to also be glad for how much of a difference Prozac has made for me over the last twenty or so years.

Susan Currie
Kim, I’m 58. Mine didn’t change for that reason, but it sounds like you went through what I would think others would go through, too. Slowing down because the energy to keep all of that up just isn’t there anymore.

Cassandra Mierau
I understand why you do what you do. My ocd is not the same type but I get the need. I am sorry your life has to be so full of rituals. I am impressed at what you accomplish within the restrictions of your rituals. You do well considering what they put you through.

Adrienne Matthews
What’s the food rituals? I find I obsess over beibg good everyday then I end up binging and eating bad then feel depressed

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